When I first became a mom

I’ve participated in this community for a little while now and I thought it might be helpful to some new mamas (and papas) to hear how I struggled emotionally after I gave birth to my first child.

My husband and I were living in an apartment building and had kids before any of my close friends at the time did. I was so excited to be a mom, but after a very short time, I became very lonely. My friends were all working full time as were my family members so I really had no-one to talk to during the day and at night I was exhausted and had no energy for any conversation really.

I’m NOT a homebody at all and I would watch my husband leave for work every morning with a bit of jealousy that he had somewhere to go. I wanted to stay home for a while with my baby and thankfully didn’t have to rush back to work-and it was a choice I really wanted, but it didn’t make the days go any faster or feel less lonely.

I had one acquaintance I would meet up with once a week for a walk with our babies and I seriously lived for that hour.

Of course when people would ask me how everything was going, I would smile and say that everything was great-and really there was nothing WRONG-it was hard to describe without sounding like i was just complaining about common new mom things.

When we moved to a house in a suburban community before we had our second, it was a completely different experience because lots of people around me were in the same stage of life, but I often think about my beginnings of new motherhood and how difficult I found those days.

Support is so important.


I can relate to this so much. We actually moved to another state right after we had our first so I literally knew no one. I was so hard.

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Thank you so much for sharing this with all of us here. :heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:

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Thank you so much for sharing! I can completely relate to the nothing is ‘wrong’ feeling. I feel like I’m always answering ‘I’m (pause) fine’.

All new mamas could use support groups for whatever reason. I had lots of friends, but we all started comparing our kids to each other and i was losing sleep (even more than just night feedings) because I was so worried that my baby wasn’t doing what my friends babies were doing.


Hi there @lilakole and thank you for your honesty. I also struggled in a similar way. When my daughter was born I was very overwhelmed and I found myself grieving the life I had before she was born. These feelings would then start a vicious cycle because immediately after, I would feel so much shame. Here I had this healthy, beautiful baby and I was sad. Instead of reaching out for support, both professionally and personally, I didn’t tell many people. Looking back, I really wish I had. Being a new mom is hard, and many times the feelings can range from immense joy to real sadness. Thank you for your post. I’m sure you’ll help other mommas out by letting them know that they aren’t alone and encourage them to reach out for help and support. Sending virtual hugs :slightly_smiling_face: :heart:

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