Sensory need?

Hi I hope you are very well.
I was wondering if you could help a much debated topic in my work place. We have a little boy 3 , he was premature and is immature for his age.
He often seeks out comfort when upset etc and at story time. He likes you to rub his back etc. I am a big believer that if that’s the stage he is at, then he needs it. On the other hand my boss believes we should not rub his hand etc as this is not teaching him resilience. I believe he needs his needs met and in time resilience will develop. I did the Solihull training, which highlighted the importance of ‘containment’ . My boss instead gives him blue tac at story time which he fiddles with and pays zero attention. She said in time he will start to pay attention. I disagree. I find when u rub his hand helps settle him etc. So basically lol…do we take my bosses advice and use other tactics to settle him?

Hi @Rebeccaferg -I think this is a really good question.

In my experience working with children at all different levels, I have found the most success when initially meeting the child where they’re at-giving the comfort/reassurance/care/attention they need and then slowly take steps back.

In the example of rubbing his hand-I would start off by doing just that. Then a few days/week later, I would tell him that I’ll run his hand for 3 pages of the story then we’ll take a little break. Then during only 1 page…and slowly take away that scaffolding for him- that’s a plan with a specific purpose that targets his needs.

@tots-mary and I are not big advocates of fidgets-kids rarely become focused on what the teacher is doing and either focus solely on the fidget or actually become disruptive because it causes commotion and jealousy with other children. This is also not targeting his direct needs at all, just band-aiding.

I hope you can resolve this and come to work together with your boss on this-the most important thing is helping the child grow and mature.