Holding my baby too much?

Can I hold my baby TOO much? My second baby is only a few weeks old and wants to be held ALL the time. My SIL told me to be careful and not hold him too much or I’ll spoil him-reading mixed reviews on this online…

I don’t think there is a right answer. I think you need to trust your mom gut. For me, what worked was not holding all the time, but that’s because I am a single mom and needed to be able to step away from my little one. I still made sure we had bonding time and I didn’t neglect him but I helped him learn how to be ok on his own early on only because I knew I couldn’t carry him all the time once my parents left. And I am glad because now that COVID is here I need to be able to work and my 9 month old can entertain himself fairly well considering his age. But again, this is what worked for me. Only you can make the right decision but I’m always happy to talk more about what I did! And because we always need to hear it - you’re doing a great job!


I think that “spoiling you newborn” used to be a thing, but so much research has come out showing how much physical touch is actually super important for baby development. A baby’s sensory systems become stronger when he/she feel the warmth of another body, the rise and fall of a parents chest etc.
In the first few months of life, a baby needs its basic needs met and that includes close physical touch.

I found this great article that really helps answer your question:

100% I agree that you shouldn’t go crazy holding your baby every second of the day and when I can’t, I am (mostly) ok with letting him cry for a few minutes if I’m doing something, I’m just feeling confused about the idea of spoiling him.

Really good article! Thanks!

When did you start helping him adjust to being more ok on his own-do you remember?

Oh man, it all seems so long ago! Probably pretty early on because I needed to be able to step away to take a shower or do laundry (he spit up all the time). It wasn’t extended periods but I definitely had him on the floor a lot. Being a PT I also wanted him to get used to floor time! Not sure if you are looking for some tools and tips but we just created an e-book that is all about how to ‘play’ with your 0-3 month old and gives tips for increasing floor time. Also, I’m happy to continue chatting! Raising a Motor Smart Kid: 0-3 Months And we just created a virtual 6 week program that can be added on to it to give you access to a PT once a week for 20-30 minutes to problem solve and trouble shoot and answer questions!

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