3yo obsessed with mole

My 3.5yo is obsessed with touching the moles on my neck. I have had two removed so far as she would pick at them until they bled. She since found another one on my neck, and has to touch it, stroke it, scratch it, mainly just touch it and rub it. She touches it to fall asleep, to calm down, when she’s having a cuddle. On really bad nights she comes to our bed and has to touch it ALL night, as soon as her finger comes off the mole she cries, and strokes my whole face, neck, head, searching in her sleep for the mole. During the day if she touches it it’s like she’s gone into a very calm trance, eyes glaze over etc.

She can verbalise “i just love your mole, I just want to touch it, it’s my mole, don’t cut it off, it’s like a pop it”

I bought her a “pop it” sensory toy hoping it would help & it hasn’t.

I just don’t know what to do, it’s such a weird obsession.

Hi! It sounds like this is something she discovered and found soothing as it’s a pet of you and now connects with it in the same way she would a lovey.

Does she understand if you say-this bothers me, can you stroke my hand instead? And maybe practice during the daytime?

Let’s see if we can get some more guidance for you.

@Drkarenweiss any recommendations?

Hi-I created an account here just bc of your post. My 2.5 yo son is obsessed with my mole on my chin. He always rubs it at night or early morning when tired or cuddling. It certainly is a source of comfort. It was hilarious and adorable at first but now it can get really aggravating. I just recently started telling him no and that he needs to respect that. I’ll also pretend to take it off and give it to him and that amuses him. I really just wanted to say you’re not alone. It was comforting to see this post. I wish you well.

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I actually relate to this! My daughter used to do this with a mole on my chest, and it hurt me when she would stroke it. Your child is old enough to understand the concept of physical boundaries based on the preferences of other people, so you might tell her that you love when she touches you, but that that place doesn’t feel good for you. Help her try to identify another way of soothing or something else to rub. Prepare for some tears, tantrums and pushback; if this is something that you want to stop, hold the boundary. Validate the feelings and the loss (it will be a loss for her), and eventually the soothing will be redirected elsewhere.

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It sounds like you’re not alone in this. How do you feel about setting boundaries, even if there are some tears?